There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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