O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
