took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
