that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
God, I missed his penis.
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