Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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