Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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