you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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