my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
