I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize