then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
