If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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