i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize