college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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