Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
