I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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