I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
