fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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