Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Bring me that man meat
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
That's how pantless uber rides happen
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
