would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
