Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
