Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
