It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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