Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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