the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
