the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
