Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
