halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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