HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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