I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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