did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
