Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My breasts were aching with rage.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
