glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize