You can't motorboat a personality
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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