mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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