Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
