he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
