Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize