forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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