if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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