New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
