Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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