is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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