Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
