i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
