Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
