I feel like I'm in dance class right now
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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