i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
