I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
