I love black thongs
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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