He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
