FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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