??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
