I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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