I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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