so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
