just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just want to make out with him forever
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
