The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
