ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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