sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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