I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
