I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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