In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
