so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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